Saturday, May 30, 2009

Procrastination Station (yeah I know that's dumb)

Two things first:

You know that Advil PM commercial that starts with that guy saying, "I'm gonna do another one of my sleep studies"? Anyone else see anything creepy about that? Let's analyze a few of the words in that sentence, shall we?

"Another" combined with "studieS". This suggests that more than one study has previously taken place. Yet, however many there have been, they haven't been quite enough. Another one is needed, you see. Or, perhaps creepier, simply wanted.

"My". Ooooh this is the really creepy part. This suggests that these frequent, dare I say habitual or compulsive, studies are not sponsored or endorsed by any recognized medical, scientific or otherwise official organization. This guy is conducting his own sleep studies.

The next screen shot shows a man and woman in a tent on cots under sleeping bags or blankets labelled Advil PM and Some Other Product Not Advil PM. Obviously, the one with the Advil blanket (I believe it's the woman, if memory serves, because heaven forbid we see a man being right and a woman being wrong on television) is already half asleep and smiling blissfully while the other (the stupid, foolish, how-does-he-even-tie-his-shoes-without-his-intelligent-sexy-strong-altogether-stupendous-woman's-help male,) who has had the misfortune of choosing another non-Advil product, is tossing and turning in obvious discomfort.

I find this creepy, as well. This very independent and highly inappropriate study has to take place in a tent. Most likely in a dark, secluded, isolated location deep in the woods. So no one can hear the screams.

Can you imagine being approached by this man? Hey there, I'm doing a sleep study. How about we go into the woods, you take this pill I give you and lie down on a cot in a tent and then I'll study you? I've done this more times than I can count but I just can't seem to get enough of studying sleeping people in tents in the woods!

I think, for the good of humanity, this commercial should be taken off the air.

That was the first thing. Second thing: I have no costume photos to share. Mom and I did manage to acquire all the necessary materials for constructing a genie costume, but for all the money we spent, I may as well have bought or rented one. I think Mom got a little carried away by visions of grandeur. But then, I went right along with her so I can't blame her. She didn't force my wallet out of my hand.

See, the second thing was much shorter than the first. And now I can move on.

Ever have this happen to you? You wake up, rested and refreshed after sleeping in on a Saturday morning with your head full of plans for the gorgeous day ahead of you? You decide you are finally going to tackle those cleaning projects that have been nagging at you? Throw open the windows, catch up on laundry, hanging everything you can out on the line in the clean, fresh sunshine, scour the tub, clean behind the toilets, clean out the pantry, pull everything off the counters and clean every inch, you get the idea? Then you go downstairs looking for baking soda and white vinegar (even though you could swear you bought enough to have a box and bottle of each in each bathroom) where your sweet little boy asks you to make him some breakfast? So you start to make breakfast when your daughter, who is at school for play practice, calls to tell you she forgot her lunch and needs you to bring it to her? So you make a run to the store (because you were so busy running all over the place for costume materials for self-same daughter to wear in self-same play that you didn't have time to do the grocery shopping), drop off lunch and come home to find your husband leaving to do an extra job so there is some extra money for all those birthdays and anniversaries coming up which means you have to accomplish all those cleaning tasks yourself? But you just shake it off and decide you're perfectly capable of cleaning things alone? So you go through the house, opening windows to prepare for the cleaning blitz ahead but are interrupted by your son who needs you to log into the filter program on the computer so he can play games safely while his sister is away and not hogging the computer? And while you're in the kitchen (where the computer is) you decide you really should get the dishwasher unloaded so you can re-load it and clear the counter space and make things look a lot better, you know get a jump-start on things? And one thing leads to another and next thing you know three hours have gone by, you've gotten nothing done and don't know where to start and you find yourself avoiding the problem by blogging about it?

Nah, me either.


Leila said...

Okay, three things.
1. You were so deeply scarred by that sleep thingy you did! Which is understandable. I would never even go there, lest I never be able to watch a commercial of any kind, afterwards.

2. Sewing is a trap.

3. Here are some simple words for you to practice: "Sure, I'd be happy to log in for you. Just go unload the dishwasher and I will!" :)

Pippajo said...

1. I think I probably just get too emotionally involved in commercials. It's a real problem.

2. You're not kidding. I've spent every spare moment for the last three days working on that costume in one way or another! And I'm not even the one doing the sewing!

3. Truer words were never spoken. Chores for log in time! Brilliant!