Wits' End Cookery: English Cottage Pie

Mmmmmm, cottage pie, another English dish that is now one of our family favorites. When I asked Redheaded Snippet what she wanted me to make for dinner before she left for college, this was the first thing she mentioned.

I make this often in the autumn and winter; rarely in the spring or summer. It's one of those hearty, cozy, stick-to-your-ribs kind of meals. Pub grub. What I call Peasant Food.

And I almost always make it as a planned leftover. Whenever beef roasts are on sale, I buy one big enough for two meals (4-5 lbs). I braise it one night with carrots and potatoes (sometimes with glazed carrots and mashed potatoes but sometimes just thrown into the pot with the roast at the end) for a typical roast beef dinner. Then, later in the week, I use the leftover beef, carrots, and potatoes (if there are any) to make the cottage pie. It's delicious and always makes me feel like a rock star.

Incidentally, cottage pie is what most of us think of as shepherd's pie. But, strictly speaking, shepherd's pie is made with lamb while cottage pie is made with beef.

Also, incidentally, I have now made this without it being a leftover and it really is just as good, if a little more time-consuming.

English Cottage Pie
*note* all measurements are approximate

2-2/12 lbs leftover roast beef
2 T butter or extra virgin olive oil
1 cup beef broth
1 cup red wine
rosemary
thyme
salt
pepper
peas
carrots (I often keep frozen bags of peas and carrots--either mixed or separately--on hand but fresh is great)
leftover potatoes, mashed or otherwise

I don't measure anymore so bear with me.

1. Dice the leftover beef, removing any fat.  Heat butter or oil in deep skillet and toss in beef to warm it up.  Add beef broth and/or wine.  I've used cider, hard cider, cranberry vodka, and cranberry pomegranate juice when I've been out of wine.  All are good.  You just need some sweetness and acid in there for flavor and tenderness.  Make sure there's just enough liquid to cover the meat about half way.  Add, oh, about 1 teaspoon each rosemary and thyme, but feel free to add more if you like.  IMHO, it's the rosemary that gives this dish its signature flavor, but that might just be me.

2. Cook over medium-high heat until broth is bubbly and begins to thicken.  If it's not thickening fast enough, make a slurry with cornstarch and warm water (just enough water to make a thin, liquidy paste) and add it to the broth.

3.  When the broth has cooked down and the beef mixture looks about how you remember cottage or shepherd's pie looking, add the peas and carrots.  Frozen veg are fine.  Whenever I have carrots leftover from the roast beef dinner, I add them: they're fabulous.  There have been times I spaced out and haven't had carrots and I've added frozen or canned corn instead.  Also good.

4.  Let the mixture kind of get comfy.  At this point, if you have any leftover gravy from roast beef night, ADD IT.  This will add tons of flavor to the dish!  If not, carry on...Spoon the mixture into whatever size baking pan you can fill.  When it's just us, I usually use a 9-inch square pan or my small oval casserole dish. If I happen to have a lot of leftover beef, I'll use a 9 x 13 pan.

5. If your potatoes are not already mashed, heat them up and mash them.  Plop them on top of the beef mixture and spread them around to the very edges of the pan.  You can sprinkle cheddar cheese on top of the potatoes but that is a most house-dividing issue over here.  I'll leave that to you...

6. Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until beef is bubbly.

Best served with beer, ale, or hard cider.  Also good with a ginger beer or shandy.

Wits' End Cookery: Cream Scones

This is, by far, the food item I am most famous for, the dish for which I am most often asked. It was the first thing I was ever able to make without a recipe.

Cream scones are super easy, quick, are tween-boy-approved (I once had a quartet of them clean out a batch in less than eight minutes), and will make converts of anyone who says they don't like scones.

A word about that: most people who think they don't like scones have never actually had them.  No, wait, I think I must be more specific: most AMERICANS who think they don't like scones have never actually had them (If you're a Brit or have had scones in the UK and still don't like them, well, there's nothing I can do with you.  You win).  What usually is called a scone here in the US is a hard, dried up, hockey puck that looks like a sad version of an overcooked biscuit.  With raisins.  Over here, scones almost always have raisins.  It might be a law.  And, oh, I hate raisins.  Grapes shriveled up in shame, that's what they are.

These scones are what scones are supposed to be: moist, light, just sweet enough, and perfect for being spread with all manner of jams, preserves, clotted cream, Nutella (oh yeah), and so on...

The secret? There's NO BUTTER in this recipe. That's right: no messing with softening, melting, or creaming butter at all. Personally, I hate dealing with butter in baking. I love eating it (let's be real), but if I have to soften or melt or chill or cream butter, I am more likely to leave a recipe alone. As the name says, these scones are made with CREAM. Many recipes calling themselves cream scones still have butter, which I think is delusional and perhaps a bit deceptive, but these babies are butter free. And, yet, they're still good, heavenly even!

Oh yeah, and this recipe is not mine. It's my sister, Lobelia's. I'm not sure where she got it. Knowing her, she could have developed it herself, bakeress extraordinaire that she is. But let's get on with it...

L's Cream Scones
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups heavy cream plus extra for brushing (whatever you do, DON'T think you can simply use the same amount of milk, or even half-n-half.  Just...don't.  It won't work.  For once, you NEED the fat!)

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  Line a baking sheet with parchment.  Trust me.  You'll regret it if you don't.

2. In a large mixing bowl, whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt until combined.  I use a fork to stir it all up.  It just needs to be mixed all up.

3. Add cream.  Make a well or don't make a well, whatever floats your boat.  It doesn't much matter.  Just mix it in well.  Use a spoon, fork, or rubber scraper just until it has come together enough to finish with your hands.

4. Finish mixing by kneading gently with your hands.  DON'T OVER MIX OR OVER KNEAD.  Be as gentle as possible and mix/knead as little as possible.  I always find the dough to be a little dry.  I'm always having to work those last few bits of flour in and I'm always worried that the scones will be too dry.  But they never are.

5. Shape the dough into either one large ball or two smaller ones.  Turn out onto a floured surface and pat into a circle, about an inch high.  I don't ever measure it.  Just press it out, it can be a little uneven.  If you're doing two balls, just do them one at a time.

6. Cut the circle of dough into eight even wedges.  Move the wedges onto the parchment-covered baking sheet and brush the tops with heavy cream.  You can use an egg wash but I never have so you're on your own there.

7. This is where you can do what you want.  Sometimes I dust confectioner's sugar on top (this happens to be Calvin's favorite).  Sometimes I sprinkle plain old table sugar.  Sometimes I make a glaze (but I'd have to look up that recipe...).  Most of the time I sprinkle them with cinnamon and then sugar.

8. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until starting to brown on top.  They'll be puffed up and sometimes they get a little misshaped.  But that's just part of the fun.

9.  Remove immediately from the baking sheet and cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  They're best eaten warm but will last several days if stored in an air-tight container.  Or so I've heard.  Scones never last more than 24 hours in this house.  I have to hide them from the hyenas if I'm making them for church or company. They're just that good!

Enjoy!

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real: End of an Era Edition

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life: every Thursday at Like Mother, Like Daughter

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

I have got the WORST writer's block I have EVER had (I think it's grief)!  I must have restarted this post a dozen times by now simply because I cannot think of how to narrate it (because of the grief and all)!  Just to give you an idea, the first few photos in it are now two months old!

Point in case (as Redheaded Snippet says--*sob*):

Pretty

See?  We all know that didn't happen this week!  But I am determined to just get this done so I can move the heck on and it's not HANGING OVER MY HEAD ANYMORE!  GAH...I'M A GRIEVING MOTHER!

So, yeah, she graduated, it was bittersweet, we're so proud, we're so sad, blah blah blah (only you know it's not blah blah blah and I'm trying to make light of it in the interest of saving some time and dignity, right?)...

And next thing we knew, we had crammed 18 years' worth of her stuff into the back of our car, driven her five hours away from our home, deposited her into a somewhat small, unpleasantly-lit room among an entire community of strangers and then left her there.  Don't get me started.  I mean it.  But isn't that window pretty?  I think she sat in it the entire time we were there.  She's going to get known as that weird girl who sits in her window.  And who gets a dorm room like this their Freshman year?  

Happy

Moving on, little detour, let's lighten the mood a little, this did happen this week.  Today, in fact.  So there.  There's an Air Force base not far from our new home and, today, a friend took The Vicar and Calvin for a tour of one of the hangars.

I swear there's a scene in Star Wars that looks just like this.  Pretty darn cool, eh?

What twelve-year-old boy isn't happy sitting in the cockpit of a military plane?  Oh, happy day, indeed.

Funny

The other morning I entered his room to wake him and found him sleeping with his foot popped like this.  Generally, I am against taking photos of people whilst they are asleep.  But this was too weird not to document and I knew no one would believe me later if I didn't have proof.  So I guess my needs outweighed his this time.  Bad Mommy.

Real

And we're back: the road trip to college.  The filled-to-capacity cargo area, the zonked out tween boy, and the unamused and rather bored college coed complete with ear buds (and misused seat belt!).  I can't believe she's gone.  It's been a week now and I keep thinking it's about time to go pick her up and bring her home.

Thanksgiving is so far away...  

Winds of Change

If anyone is paying any kind of attention to this poor, neglected blog of mine, they will notice that it's been nearly two months since my last post.  I hate when that happens.  I hate catching up.  It takes all manner of mental gymnastics and emotional calisthenics to find my groove again and I'm usually crippled by the fear of leaving something out and wrecking the nice, delicate order of things.

I do have some slight OCD tendencies.  Actually it's more an issue of perfectionism but that's a tangent we shall not follow today.

So.  Anyway.  There have been changes lately.  And bigger ones on the horizon.

-We have moved.  Into a vicarage (actually, only we and our Anglophile or Anglo-sympathetic friends call it the vicarage.  Everyone else calls it the parsonage).

-The Viking has made a complete career change and is now The Vicar (see note above)--Pastor of Music at our church.

-I am no longer homeschooling Calvin.  He will be attending the local public school come September.

-Redheaded Snippet has turned eighteen, graduated from high school, and is off to university in only one short week, leaving us forever.

Say it with me: WHOA NELLY.

I have been in a certain degree of emotional seclusion.  I tend to withdraw and ruminate when faced with stressful things, even good things.  I don't deal well with change and tend to get broody.  And that's when the blog goes silent.

But I am still here.  And I've been doing LOTS of thinking and praying and soul-searching.  And though I'm not sure, yet, but it's going to look like, I know change is coming, if it's not here already.

So please bear with me, if you're still here.

More to come.  Stay tuned...

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real: Progress Edition

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life.  Every Thursday at Like Mother, Like Daughter.

One week and a day to go before the big party and so we're kicking it into high gear and trying to put the finishing touches on everything that needs to be touched so we (read: I) can move on to the cleaning and cooking part of the preparations.

But first, a breath and a pause to record some progress.

As you know, we've been hacking things all over the place.  We hacked curtains, curtains, and even more curtains (hey, you know that phenomenon that occurs when you say a word too many times in close succession, suddenly rendering the word meaningless?  Works with typing a word too many times as well), patio chair cushions, and cheapy-chic bathroom decor.  And we've been gardening a lot.

But that is not all, oh no, that is not all!

I know I told you about the clematis we got at 50% off at Lowe's (through the mighty power of guilt), but I haven't yet told you about this one.  Mom went back to Lowe's a few days ago (for something like peat moss or mulch or something) and saw this clematis that looked even more poorly than the first one we got!  Clearly, someone is not doing their job over at Lowe's or maybe they just have something against clematis.  Anyway, Mom scored this one for $5 which was 75% off!

And she planted it next to the lattice The Vicar erected to camouflage the rubbish bins.  Mom says she's never seen soil like ours.  Everything grows in it like gangbusters.  Of course the copious amounts of rain we've had helps...

Pretty 

I went out back this morning and was literally stopped in my tracks with jaw slacked when I spotted these flowers.  This is the pathetic, little, $5 clematis we planted less than a week ago!  Unbelievable!

Do you remember this, the improved front porch display?

Well, with a skosh of spraypaint...

It is now complete as a junked (or junqued as I like to say), upcycled trellis for our 50%-off rescued clematis which is doing nicely and filling with buds (though maybe not with the fervor or speed of its 75% off rescued cousin in the back yard).

Now, as soon as I figure out how to use those brick hooks, I can get our house number up and be done with this area!

This table is another small hack.  The table itself was donated to us.  And while I like it, I could not find a way to incorporate it into any room of the house.  I simply didn't have the room for it.  So we painted it and Mom donated a slab of marble she had trash picked years ago (and had used for this very purpose in her own back yard) for us to stick on the top.

Happy

I say, "we painted it," when I really mean Calvin did.  He had been a trifle more sassy than usual the day before this photo was taken and The Vicar decided it was because he was bored and idle.  So a bunch of extra tasks were sent his way.

The funny thing is, far from being sulky that he was being disciplined in small way, Calvin was a lot happier that day.  That's the thing with boys (and probably kids in general): they always need something to do or they get into trouble.

This is another thing that makes me happy: Mom's sewing machine.  As you've probably detected, it's quite old.  This was her grandmother's machine, the one she used to teach Mom to sew when she was a little girl.  She gave it to Mom when she stopped sewing and Mom has used it ever since.  A few years ago, it got caught in a small (but big enough) flood in our basement and its original case was ruined.  But unsinkable Mom somehow managed to fit it with a new, plastic base.  I have loved having it in my house and hearing its soothing, familiar whir in the background as Mom makes magic with it once again.

Funny

This is a hand-lettered sign that recently appeared on Calvin's closet door.  His room has a walk-in closet, the only one in the house, that I use for storage and he uses pretty much as a clubhouse.  He's got his beanbag chair, a small lamp, and all of his most treasured possessions squirreled away in there.  He originally wanted his bed in there but that was where we drew the line.  Anyway, a few days ago, I walked in there to deliver some laundry and saw this sign.

It says, "No Muggles!"

Real

I can't tell you how encouraging and liberating this weekly event has been for me, particularly the "Real" aspect of it.  While it's true that sometimes I rein the realness in a bit before I share it, many, many times it feels good to just display it as it is and let it go.

This is what the dining room looked like when Mom finished sewing the other day.  This is actually how it still looked the morning after she had finished.  And...I'm pretty sure it still looks like this.  I haven't actually had much time to go in there and look around much less tidy it up.  We still have a few more things to finish so I've been furiously debating with myself whether I should tidy now or tidy later and tidy later has been winning.  I'm so dreadfully busy I only have time for meals and laundry!

And, finally, speaking of laundry: this is what happens when you get a notice home from the school saying there's been an outbreak of lice.  Greeeeeaaaaaaaat.   Just what I need right now.  Then again, when is a good time for a lice outbreak?  I was amusing myself during those countless trips back and forth to the washroom (most of which were required to re-balance the washer) by trying to imagine any situation in which any mother might sigh, throw down her dish towel, turn slowly, giving an appraising glance around the house and say, "You know, now would be a really good time for us to get lice."  I couldn't do it.  But it was amusing.

Those are all our pillows waiting in semi-quarantine to be disinfected.  And this is the very end of the massive mountain of linens that was clogging up our mudroom and washroom earlier this week!  It was horrifying!

One of the latter piles of linens waiting to be folded and returned to their rightful owners.  Again, this is probably about 1/4 of what passed through the production line.  I had to divide by Necessary For Sleeping Tonight, Not Necessary But Would Really Be Helpful, and Non-Essential Fluff.  I believe this was a pile of Not Necessary But Helpful.

The good news is, we were able to head the little buggers off at the pass.  No infestation here, whew!

Where have you found contentment this week?  Join in and share it with us!

Poverty is the Mother of Invention

Or...Hacking Can Give You Quite a Rush

We're on a hacking roll over here!  Work on the patio chair cushions is nearly finished (if it would just stop raining so we could get the chairs themselves stained) and we're almost ready to begin the next set of window treatments.  But in between, I took it upon myself to finish a project I began several years ago and always intended to finish.

Three or so years ago, I made and framed up a pair of silhouettes of the kids for my mother-in-law as a Christmas gift.  I had noticed she was partial to them, figured all grandmothers are thrilled to receive gifts that have their grandchildren as the theme, and, let's be honest, I knew it would be a relatively inexpensive gift.

I was right.  I was able to find an appropriate frame and some appropriate paper and mattes at very low cost.  And they looked wonderful and she loved them.

I was also smart.  I took the necessary preparations to make myself a set someday.

That day is today.  Or, rather, was yesterday.

I began (three years or so ago) by having the kids stand still and taking a profile shot of them.  Calvin wasn't having it and so he is sulking in his.  And, yeah, you can tell in the finished product.  I printed the photos (can't remember now if it was on our printer or at a place like Kinko's--probably Kinko's), then cut them out, like so.

I then traced the portrait onto thick, black paper (I don't know what kind; I'm not a "paper" person), then carefully cut it out.  And this is where I was brilliant: I traced and cut out two of each!  a-HA!  I used one set immediately for my mother-in-law's gift and squirreled the other set away for myself for later.

Fast forward to a week in June 2013.  I've been looking for something to put on the one bit of wall space I have in the upstairs bathroom that won't be holding shelves when all is said and done.  I know I need something black and white to cut the severity of the shocking green wall color.  And, whilst trolling through Pinterest, it hits me: BAM: silhouettes!  And then KABLAM: I have a pair already cut out!

Consequently, I found myself in a dollar store looking for frames.  I found the above.  I liked the matte and it was $1 and I thought I was home safe.  So I bought two.  And got them home only to discover that the matte and the "print" (to use the term loosely) are one piece and both are glued into the frame somehow.  There was no way to use just the matte and keep the frame intact, a fact I discovered when I accidentally tore the frames apart trying to get the matte out.

Ok, so $2 down the drain.  I realized I was going to have to kick things up a notch.

So I went to Walmart and spent twice as much and got two $2 frames.  I made sure they came apart easily before I bought them.  Sadder but wiser, that's me.

Now, some of you "paper" people would probably then go and get some really good quality, acid-free, organically pressed, moisture-proof, fancy paper on which to mount the silhouettes.

I am not that kind of person.

I cut the border that I liked from the "print" that I didn't from the dollar store artwork.  Then I flipped over the photo that came with the frame from Walmart and used that as my white background.  I know, the horrors.  It's a travesty.  Remember, I am not a crafty person!

From there, it was easy.  I buffed the glass clean (I think I used my shirt.  The one I was wearing) and positioned the silhouettes just so.  I didn't even use any adhesive.  I just stuck them in place and put the glass on.  I'm that kind of a maverick.  Oh, and I also used a black ball point pen to fill in some spots on the mattes where the blackness had worn off and the white layer underneath was showing.  You can't even tell.

Since I didn't feel like waiting around for The Vicar to find me a hammer and nails (and I didn't want to go rummaging around in the basement for them myself) I then used my mother's method of using straight pins and a high heeled shoe to mount the frames on the bathroom wall.  She told me that at one point in her life, everything on her walls was mounted using straight pins or sewing needles.  She says they leave smaller holes in the walls.

But looky!  Don't they look great?

Especially with the finished cafe' curtain and valance?  I tell you what, the hardest thing about this project was trying to get a photo!  With the light on, there was too much glare, with it off, it's too gloomy, and don't get me started on trying to position myself so I can capture the silhouettes, window, and a bit of the shower curtain all in the same frame!

There you go: my three-year but less than $10 decorating hack.  If I can do it, anyone can!

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real: Patio Chair Hack Edition

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life.  Every Thursday at Like Mother, Like Daughter

We're in the thick of preparing for the graduation party over here so things are a bit hectic.  Hence, the reason I'm posting this an entire 24 hours late.

So, yeah, we've been busy but I still have a pretty cool hack to share with you.  At least I think it's cool.  Maybe it's lame...nah...I'll stand by it, it's cool.

But because of the busyness, I don't have time to categorize and label.  This week's Pretty, Happy, Funny, and Real are implied.

Ok, so maybe you're like me and have very little money.  Or maybe you have a comfortable  (or even luxurious) amount of money and simply like to live frugally.  Whatever, it doesn't matter.  For whatever reason, say you're living frugally and you have these chairs that your husband inherited from his family's country house and you're very glad to have them because 1) they're a piece of your husband's childhood and he has many happy memories surrounding them and you're a good wife who delights in her husband's happiness and 2) they were free.

But, say the cushions on those chairs need to be replaced and you have a graduation party coming up that you're planning on hosting in your back yard and you go and price new cushions and are shocked and dismayed to find that they cost more than a week's worth of groceries.  What do you do then?

Why, you start by going trash-picking, of course!

That's right.  Trash-picking, junking, dumpster diving, curbside rescues.  And if Providence is on your side, you happen to drive right past a sofa and two be-cushioned chairs out to the trash as you're formulating a plan and discussing the best way to go about trash-picking.  Which is exactly what happened to Mom and me.  We got in the car to drop Redheaded Snippet off somewhere and were all like, "Ok, so we need a good curbside haul.  Problem is, those are hard to plan.  They're usually just serendipitous--oh look!  There's a sofa!"  So we came home from our errand with a backseat full of sofa and chair cushions.

And this ottoman stuffed in the trunk which was a bonus.  We've been wanting one for a while now and this one, after a good scrubbing, a good spraying down with white vinegar, and two days baking in the hot sun, works mighty fine.  We'll probably reupholster it but it's fine for now.

Back to the cushions: once you get home, you zip or cut off the cushion covers and spray them good with whatever disinfectant you have.  And then you measure everything and if the cushions are a little too big, you just take a sharp knife and lop off a lump.

Then you go to the dollar store.

You could try Home Goods, TJ Maxx, Target, Walmart, Goodwill, or the Salvation Army.  But our first stop was the dollar store as it was closest.  Look at curtains, shower curtains, tablecloths, and sheets.  They're all good sources of inexpensive fabric.  And when you find curtains like these for $12 each and your seamstress checks the measurements of the fabric and determines that it will only take two packs to finish four cushions, buy them and be all excited that you're getting new patio chair cushions for only $24!

And THEN: get even more excited and grateful that Providence is still very much on your side when you discover at the cash register that the curtains are actually on sale for 50% off and you're getting new patio chair cushions for only $12!!

Once home, have a momentary deflating of your good mood bubble when you discover, though you really aren't surprised, that the fabric is really cheap and isn't going to last you more than a year.  But then bolster your spirits with the reasoning that, at $3 a cushion, you can probably afford to replace them next year and at least they'll make it through the graduation party.  And then let your brilliant seamstress get to cutting and sewing.

A couple of hours later, BOOM!  You'll have new patio chair cushions!  And you'll be happy and feel cleverly thrifty.

I don't have photos of the completely finished product because they're not quite finished yet.  The cushions we picked up for the seats turned out to be the wrong size altogether so we need another curbside haul.  And The Vicar has to paint the wood part of the chairs.  So the true "after" photos will have to wait for another time.  But it will be soon because this party is in TWO WEEKS!

Right.  I'm off.  I've got silhouettes to mount and lists to make and lanterns to price and rugs to pick out (amongst many, many other things)!

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real: Outdoors (Mostly) Edition

So this week's installment is bugging me.  I'm just OCD enough to be irritated when I don't have a clear cut selection for each category.  I like to categorize things most of the time and get twitchy when lines are blurred.

For example, many of this week's photos are positively, frustratingly real and while they have the potential, nay the probability, of prettiness in the future, I'm not sure I can declare them satisfactorily pretty.  And I've been leaning dangerously close to grumpy as our first real heat wave sets in (ok, maybe not in terms of the official weatherpeople's criteria of being over 90 degrees for three days, but in laymen's terms, if I have to do outdoor chores with a hand towel in my belt loop for two days straight, that's a heat wave) so contentment has been a tad more elusive lately!

But enough of the shilly-shally.

Pretty

Let's start with the actual pretty.  This was part of our project blitz weekend but I wanted to save it for this week's post.  We FINALLY have a covering on the bathroom window!  And I would like to explain this a bit because it makes me feel moderately brilliant.

I bought that shower curtain months ago, right after we moved in to the vicarage.  I had known for months that I wanted to do a shocking shade of green on the walls with white beadboard, vintage-looking black and white tile, and black and white toile shower curtain and window treatments in the upstairs bath.  I was thrilled when I found that shower curtain on sale but knew it was going to be hard to match it for the windows but figured I would think of something.

And lo! I did.  And then I got Mom over here.  We cut off the bottom of the shower curtain and used it to make a cafe curtain and a valance (not shown because it isn't finished yet), then went and got some black and white polka dot fabric to replace what we cut off and add to the other pieces.  I had really been hoping to find some black and white ticking or a crisp striped fabric but they were not to be had and I really do like the whimsical and classic polka dot.

I am not kidding; these curtains bring a smile to my face every time I walk into or past that room.  Which would also qualify that photo as Happy, too, wouldn't it?

Remember this?  Although I only did that a few days ago, I've already changed it up because I realized that chair is going to deteriorate rather quickly out in the elements and I don't want that to happen AND Mom and I thought of something better!

I've had this old washtub lying around for years.  I got it either at a yard sale or in the trash and have always wanted to use it as a planter.  But as there weren't no hole in the washtub and we were loath for some reason to put one in it, we used it for things like washing the cars, hauling small amounts of dirt, and storing drinks on ice for backyard parties.

We got some violets, petunias, dead nettles, purslane, and ivy in there

THEN.  When we were moving and asking the perpetual question of, "Are we bringing/packing this," The Vicar pointed out to me that the old washtub did indeed finally have holes in it.  He wanted to throw it away, foolish man.  But I knew my long-hoped-for dream of having flowers in the washtub were about to become a reality.

And then there was this old wrought iron headboard I had gotten, also years ago, also in the trash.  Honestly, The Vicar thinks I am plain old nuts when I drag home old rubbish like this.  Especially when I let it sit in the basement/shed/backyard for years while I wait for inspiration and opportunity to plunk down on my head.  Mom and I had already decided to find a vine to plant so we could use the headboard as a trellis when, in a flash of true inspiration, it occurred to me that we should use the headboard and washtub together.

Which leads me to:

Happy

Inspiration is knowing you must have a clematis to plant next to your front step to grow up and all over the old, gnarly, but totally cool wrought iron headboard you're propping up behind the old, beat up, but also totally cool metal washtub on your front porch.  Happiness is finding a sad-looking one that is an obvious victim of neglect at Lowe's and guilting the salesperson into letting you have it at half price, knowing your gardening fairy of a mom can nurse it back to health in no time at all.

When we moved in, this area was covered with a piece of plywood and we kept our firewood on it.  Now it's on its way to being a lovely flower bed thanks, again, to Mom.  Hydrangea, irises, lilies of the valley, impatiens and creeping myrtle, for anyone who's curious.  And those rocks were all found in the backyard (and hauled into place--mostly) by  Calvin.

The Vicar's only attempt at veg this year with a bit of fresh herbs on the side.  My husband does love having fresh, homegrown tomatoes in the summer and was happy to find that the southern side of the house gets full sun all day long.  And though they look a wee bit wilted here, they are doing rather well.  Mmmm...Caprese salad is calling my name...

And these are my herbs.  The Vicar tends to them but they're mostly mine.  Mint, rosemary, and cilantro.  I also have a basil plant on my windowsill that I've managed to keep alive since mid March.  We love being able to go out and pluck a few leaves of mint any time we want some mint-iced tea.  Or juleps.  Or mojitos.  But, for some reason, I keep forgetting I have cilantro.  Must remember to get some avocados next time I'm at the store!

Funny

Today's funny is brought to you by twelve-year-old boys who get bored in the car and rifle through Mom's purse.  Yes, I keep a fancy fan in there.  Dead useful thing to have in one's purse.  I highly recommend it.

Starting out Happy then veering off into possibly Funny and Real

Now, stay with me here.  Don't be fooled by the seemingly boring nature of this photo.  I know there's not much to see here but look at that small tree on the left.  Yes, it's a tree, that's the point.  We're having a tree taken down in the farthest part of the backyard.  So the tree guy was here yesterday.  And it just so happened that Mom was tinkering around in this flower bed and wondering what this plant was and casually asked the tree guy if he knew what it was.  And he did.

So, yeah, it's a pear tree.  An apparently expensive ornamental pear tree that nature has just blessed us with...um...naturally.  The tree guy said they grow fast and are beautiful and much coveted for their spring blooms and autumn foliage.  We were so excited.  I had visions of hanging a partridge decoration in it somehow and was ready to start looking for such a trinket but decided to look up info on the tree itself first.

And that's when things got real.

It's a Bradford pear, which the TG told us.  Which means it will get HUGE which the TG did NOT tell us.  And they have shallow roots, are top-heavy and easily split and topple over in windstorms.  WHAT UP WITH THAT, TG???  So, clearly, this thing cannot be allowed to flourish mere feet from the house.  And now, in contrast to being romantically giddy about having it appear as if by magic in our yard, I am afraid of it.  I want it gone.  It could actually kill us in our sleep, but maybe I'm letting my imagination run away with me again...

Real

So, these shots are of the mess it seems you must create in order to improve your yard.  I think it actually looks worse than when we moved in!  I guess it's like any home improvement: it always looks worse before it looks better!  As perhaps you can tell, The Vicar has been power washing anything that can stand it and having a marvelous time at it.  And Mom and I have been planning and digging and planting and watering.

Or at least Mom has, and like a giddy schoolgirl, I might add.  I discovered something this week.  I can't say that I'm really contented with it, but I do feel that it's better to know the truth than waste time wondering, you know?  But anyway, I discovered, after decades of uncertainty, that I seriously dislike gardening.  In fact, I think I could go as far as saying I hate it.  I know, I know.  I'm disappointed in myself, like I'm admitting that I don't really like children or ice cream or bacon.  Come to think of it, I don't really like children.  Except my own.  And my nieces and nephews.  And a few other friends' children that I've gotten to know.  But I'm not one of those people who just loves children.

I don't really like animals all that much, either, truth be told.  I am just a soulless void inside.

As far as ice cream and bacon are concerned, we're good.

All this for a silly graduation party, can you believe it?  We must really love that girl or something.  But it's going to look beautiful when it's done and then, THEN, oh, the Pretty and Happy pictures I will have to share!

But until then, join us each week as we practice capturing contentment in our everyday lives.  Every Thursday at Like Mother, Like Daughter.