I can't promise this will be a very well-thought-out post. I'm very much in the processing phase here so things may be a bit...disjointed.
We've been trying, since before the previous school year ended, to find an alternative to sending Man-Cub to our local public school. It's a long story, but I don't want him there. He isn't safe and the administration is completely untrustworthy. I Do Not Want Him There.
So, we looked around, prayed a lot and chose a school that seemed to be presented to us by God Himself on a silver platter.
We were nervous, but trusting God to work out all the details.
And it all fell through. I don't know why the process unfolded the way it did over the past few months, with all signs pointing toward yes and then getting a resounding NO at the very last minute, but I do know God is in control and He has reasons I do not need to understand, but just trust.
So now we are faced with sending Man-Cub back to that school we don't want him to go to. And I am trying hard to trust that this is what God intends. I am okay with it if that's the case, I just wish I could be sure.
For example, now the idea of home schooling has arisen in my mind. And I can't help but think perhaps this is the direction God intends for us to move and He had to eliminate the option of private school because He knew I would not seriously consider home schooling any other way.
Perhaps He really does intend for Man-Cub to go back to the public school and to teach me that my trust in Him must outweigh my motherly fears and concerns.
Those gut feelings: are they friend or foe? Are they nudgings of the Holy Spirit or my own feeble humanity getting in the way of God's plan?
I just wish I knew.
And now I am wondering about home schooling. Can I do it? Can I do it? Without turning Man-Cub into a weirdo? He's the kind of kid who needs to get used to being around other kids. He tends to hole up and isolate himself, like me. I know socialization is such a buzz-word, usually thrown around by people like me who are ignorant of the true ways of home schooling and afraid of what they don't know, but he truly does need it. How do I provide that for him?
Do I have enough time, with only three weeks left, to get everything together and organized? Am I biting off more than I can chew? And should I take seriously the fact that a few people who know and love me have guffawed before they could stop themselves when I mentioned I was considering it?
I always said I would never home school my kids because they would be idiots if I did. I even said that on this blog! But, my mother has always said to be careful about what you tell God you won't do because God has a sense of humor and doesn't take kindly to being told what His limits are.
So, home schooling. Where do I start? What do I do first? Is this crazy? What supplies do I need? Do I need a specially designated area in my house? Do I have enough time to prepare? The questions are endless!
I'll keep you posted...