Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Ugh! What's That Smell?!

So, has anyone else experienced the joys of living with the delightful aroma of sewer gas wafting through the house?

That's right. Feel free to shudder. It's disgusting. Apparently, there is a leak somewhere in the powder room wall. I don't know the particulars of the size or location of the leak, but, fortunately, The Viking does. He's going to have to tear open the wall (maybe even two walls) and he seems to be facing the task with a mixture of dread and excitement. He likes tearing walls open. He just does. Demolition, to any degree, is always fun. For him. But he can't be sure of what he's going to find inside that wall and that has him feeling a bit trepidatious. I'm more than a bit trepidatious, I'm all over trepidatious! But if we have to tear holes in the walls to get rid of that terrible smell, I'm on board!

Oh, the smell! Oh, the odor! I keep walking downstairs and thinking, "Ugh, who funked up the bathroom?" And then I remember this is not one of those everyday, run-of-the-mill bathroom odors that may irritate for a few moments and then, accommodatingly, dissipate. Oh, no, this is a stench that lingers. There's no getting rid of it. Not without tearing into the walls! I would describe the smell for you, but I think you can well imagine what sewer gas smells like. I'm going to describe it to you anyway. It smells like poo. Only rotten. Rotten poo. Say it with me, "Ugh!"

Enough about corroding crap. We're coming down the home stretch school-wise. I believe we have 13 days left. Yes, we get out late here in South Jersey. I don't know why. And our school, in particular, always gets out later than any other school in the area. I don't know why. But we're down to 13 days and I just cannot wait. We're going to sleeeeep innnnnnn like crazy around here!

Redheaded Snippet's school play is tomorrow night so we've been back to Costume Central-Goodwill-and working hard to put together a fantastic costume for her. The play is Annie and my Snippet is playing Mrs. Hannigan. I did get some photos of the costumes in progress, but we've been having computer issues--did I mention that?-and I can't upload any photos right now. But she gets to wear two pretty kick-ass costumes. She makes her entrance wearing frighteningly fuchsia satin pajama pants, a garish satin kimono, my grandmother's clear plastic boudoir slippers, a fuchsia turban and holding a cigarette holder. Then she changes into a fugly '30's style dress with a pair of my other grandmother's shoes, 4 ropes of pearls and metallic beads, and her hair up in a loose chignon with a finger wave and a huge peony behind her ear. I did the best I could with the finger wave with the limited amount of time I had and did her makeup with Clara Bow lips, dark eyes and a nice big beauty mark on her cheek. She looked very Norma Desmond. She looked smashing. I will do my best to get lots and lots of photos tomorrow night to share.

So, as I mentioned, we're having computer problems. Something is seriously wrong with ours. The Viking thinks it's the video card or something or whatever? Whatever it is, it won't let the computer work right! I can only steal a few minutes on The Viking's laptop each night and don't have access to all my files, programs and photos so it's been very frustrating. I'm really hoping he can fix all our household problems this weekend. I don't know how much longer I can roll around this smelly house with no computer to break the monotony of all my housewifely duties! Heh heh, I said doodies. Gah, can you believe me? You'd think I'd have had enough with the smell I've been marinating in for the past two days, but my immaturity overtakes me once again!

As for my case of the Blues, it was a bad one, but it did pass. I'm still not sure what the problem was, except that it was that time of the month and I was pretty stressed out and don't typically deal with stress very well. Strike that. Actually, the truth is that I typically deal with stress by eating and I'm trying very hard not to do that anymore because I am tired of looking like a beached whale and am trying to lose weight sensibly and permanently, so when stressful things come along, I'm kind of helpless. Maybe I should start smoking. I'm kidding! No, I know smoking is serious and something we should never joke about. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Maybe it's stress. Anyway...

I had a good cry all over The Viking's chest and Daria came over and bade me bake scones and partake of good British tea with her and then everyone let me mope around the house all day Sunday and return to my senses all on my own. I am surrounded by very understanding, very kind, very gracious people who go out of their way to help and support me. I don't deserve them.

So, no matter what the calendar says, Summer is here. Like an over-bearing relative whose visit you're dreading but just can't avoid, she's shown up on the doorstep, early, with no regard for the possibility that we just might not be ready for her yet. She's made herself very comfortable with her dusty feet on the coffee table and her ill-tempered cats shedding all over the place and her constant helpful hints about the correct way to prepare every meal you serve her and has no intention of going anywhere until someone tells her to her face she just has to leave. And you know that won't be until September. Sigh. It's going to be 90 degrees with 70% humidity on Friday. Stupid, Great-Aunt Summer.

Well, that's enough for me tonight. I have family coming in tomorrow to see Redheaded Snippet's play, I have to make sure all of her costume things are ready for tomorrow night, not to mention packing lunch for Man-Cub, tidying things up and making sure everyone has clean clothes. So, it's off to the salt mines once again!

1 comment:

fred@opc said...

When we helped my sister-in-law move into her townhome, the upstairs shower had no trap installed. Occasionally the smell just crept around the whole upstairs. It was terrible, especially if it caught you off guard a few rooms away. It had a way of wafting too and fro, without much warning of where it might show up.